Revealed Truth
by Silverstar2424
Summary: Kirk is getting married and Spock is unhappy about his choice in partners, this causes him to reveal the truth. Kirk/OC also Spock/Kirk
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not and never shall own Star Trek. **

"Spock, please report to my quarters as soon as you are off duty"

"Yes, Captain."

_Great, now what does he want to see me about? Stop being illogical! I do not feel! I do not wish to feel! Not now… not now._

I walked up to the Captain's door and told the computer to let him know I was outside.

"Come in Spock, you know you don't have to ring the doorbell!"

"You wanted to see me Captain?" I asked. I was careful though to sound as I always did, and not the way I wanted to.

"Yes, I thought we could play a game of chess." He sounded so happy and carefree, and it made the way I was feeling so much worse. I made my way over to the chess board and sat,

"Captain, I believe it is your turn to begin."

He made his opening moves and said "How was your day?"

I knew that there was something else he really wanted to talk about, but he also didn't want to bring it up.

"I had a…. satisfactory day." _There were so many_ _other words I wanted to say and I chose satisfactory. Typical of me, never saying what I mean. _

"Spock, I've been worried about you, and I want to make sure that you're alright before I leave for my honeymoon."

_ There it was, the big ugly subject had reared its head. Jim doesn't even know that I am against his marrying Ivy. I want to tell him, and yet I don't think I can._

"Jim, I do not think that marrying Ivy is a wise decision."

"She's not just another pretty face, Spock, I love her. I want to wake up every day by her side and live life. "

Something snapped, hearing him say that he loved her, I couldn't do it any longer!

"Why do you think I stayed here all these years? Did you really think, just like everyone else, that I didn't want a command of my own? You are the one always trying to convince me to show my _human_ half, well here it is, and I don't think you will like it!" I was furious now, and words were flying unchecked through my mouth. "I love you! I always have and always will!" I realized then what I was saying, what I had said. "I …I…"

Jim just stared at me, and said nothing.

**Author's Note: **Hopefully you've read this far! And hopefully you liked it! And hopefully you aren't too confused! In case you are Kirk is marrying this Ivy character (not so sure who she is yet, I would guess she is beautiful) and will be leaving to go on his honeymoon, leaving the ship with Spock. Understand now? Good. Well unless you review and tell me how I did nobody (but me) is going to know how Kirk reacts! Please, Please review cause I know it's going to get good! ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish otherwise, Star Trek does not belong to me. **

_I had said it. The feelings I had buried beneath layers of control and perfection, gone were the fragile barriers that kept my true self inside. But above all I had no idea of what to do next. What could you say, after you had laid your bare soul out for the one you care for to see._

"Spock…" Jim's voice was full of pity and something else, something I didn't even care to know.

_Hearing him say my name that way, like he was… sorry for me, was too much after what I had just done. I couldn't stay in his quarters any longer._

"Excuse me, Captain."

_As soon as I got out of his quarters I was possessed with a need to get as far away as possible, and my quarters were entirely too close to his for my liking. I needed to go, be some place entirely alone to try and make sense of this mess I had created. I felt the need to be in the desert. I went the transporter room._

"One to beam down to Vulcan." I told the ensign who was at the transport station. Something in my expression must have told him not to question because he said "yes sir" and beamed me down to the coordinates I had provided.

_I set my communicator down on a rock and walked into the desert. I finally found the place I was looking for, a small grove of rocks. Somewhat ironically I remembered going there for comfort when I was a child. I sat down amidst the rocks and tried to center myself. I couldn't meditate all I could think of was Jim's face when I told him and the pity in his voice when he said my name. I don't know what strange sorry illogical part of me thought if I told him everything would be alright. I heard someone approaching were I was… hiding._

"Spock"

_The voice was not the one I was expecting to hear, even if I didn't want to hear it._

"Mother" I said acknowledging her presence.

"Would you care to join me for dinner? Your Father is away on business."

"I would enjoy that"

The dinner we shared was quite filled only by the soft sound of our eating. After dinner my mother led me out to her garden. We sat and started gazing at the stars.

_So many stars, an uncountable amount. I thought about trying to find the _Enterprise_, my home? It had been for so long, but now I was unsure if I even wanted to go back._

My mother startled my out of my thoughts. "Spock I know something is troubling you, talking about it might help"

"I told him the truth. He didn't want to hear it." It was all I could bring myself to say.

Knowing that I didn't want words that meant nothing, she simply wrapped me in a hug.

"You need to go back, and sort things out with Jim, you cannot run forever."

"I know."

"Here" she said handing me my communicator.

"Thank you Mother, for everything."

I flipped open my communicator and spoke the words that would take me back to the ship. "One to beam up"

It was time to face the truth.

_**Authors note: Exciting! Thank you to Sandy Toes for reviewing! To the other 93 of you: Please Please Review! I can't wait to continue writing this story! Hopefully this chapter is less confusing and has more detail then the first, I tried! **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's note: hey guys! I finally updated! **_

I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, wishing with all my heart that I could just shut off my brain and _forget_ everything that was happening and go back to what it had been before. Because I, Jim Kirk, Captain of the _Enterprise_ was going to get married in less than a week. Because my first officer, and best friend, had admitted his love to me. Because I don't know what I'm going to do about it. It was no surprise that I had a killer headache, and had been laying in bed for what seemed like hours trying to figure out; what to do next. Spock had run down to Vulcan, and at the moment I couldn't say I blamed him. The thing that filled me with the most dread, though was that I had loved him for years. Years. He had never given any sign that he knew, or he felt the same, so I moved on. And yet now I felt like I had never stopped loving him. I love Ivy, I tried to tell myself. I heard a soft knock on the door, I ignored it, instead continuing to lay in the dark. I heard the door whoosh open and I lay still hoping whoever it was would think I was asleep.

"Captain, I am aware from your breathing that you are not sleeping, however if you would prefer for me to come back later I can."

"Spock! You came back!" ohhh crap, he'd only said one sentence and I was already insulting him.

Spock looked down as if trying to compose himself. His voice was quite when he spoke "I will always come back, Jim."

"I'm so sorry, Spock, I didn't know. I…"

"It is illogical for you to be sorry, I am the one who is unable to control myself and I apologize for my behavior."

I could feel him slipping back into his mask of no emotions, I knew I needed to stop him to tell him the truth, but I found no words to convey what I felt I should say. "Spock…" but I trailed off. I had to make this better not worse.

"Goodnight Captain." Spock said as he was walking to the door, but I couldn't let him leave, not again, so I rushed forward and grabbed his arm. I spun him around so he was facing me "We need to talk, and it might as well be now" I said.

Spock kept his face blank as he said "I do not think there is anything to talk about" but his eyes suggested otherwise.

"Why do you think you have to hide from this?" I asked. Then I continued on without letting him speak, "Is it that you are afraid it will ruin our friendship? Afraid that I won't want you as my first officer anymore? Why?"

He was quite for a moment before he said softly "Because it doesn't change anything." I dropped my hand from him arm and he walked out.

I walked over to my bed and sat down repeating his words in my head. Doesn't. Change. Anything. How could it not? I felt changed, different but in a way I couldn't explain. Then the computer chirped and the ensign on duty told me I had a transmission coming in. "I'll take it in here" I said. I went to my desk and opened the transmission; it was my fiancée, Ivy.

We greeted each other and then she started on a long tirade about how the wedding planning was going. After a few minutes she stopped with a concerned look on her face. "What's wrong, Jim?" she asked.

I looked at her knowing that I should be able to tell her, the woman who I was getting married to in only a few weeks. I had obviously kept quiet for too long because she asked again, "Jim, what's the matter?"

"Nothing" I said finally.

"No cold feet?"

"none" I said forcing a smile on my face.

"If you're sure", she still looked concerned.

"Positive."

I heard a chirp and Ivy turned around. "Sorry Jim, I've got to take this. Love you!"

"Love you too" and the transmission ended. I couldn't keep doing this! I needed to figure out what I really wanted. The problem was I wasn't sure how.

I laid back down and sleep soon claimed my troubled mind.

_**Author's note: Sorry, seems all I can write are cliff hangers! I promise that I would keep you in suspense this long again! Remember reviews make me want to write!**_


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